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  • Writer's pictureAlex Planidin

"'s probably you"

Updated: Mar 7

“It’s probably me”

When everything feels just shitty, when there's bad news everywhere, work's not going right, friends feel a bit off, family members are getting on my nerves, the kids are driving me crazy... it's probably me.

G.I. Gurdjieff had a beautiful way of looking at this. I'm paraphrasing here, but he essentially said:

"Loving other humans is not easy. First, learn to love plants. Really care for them. When you can do that, learn to love animals. Only then are you ready to learn to love another human being"

This is about connecting, from the essence of life in me to the essence of life in the other. Plants have no personalities, they're just simple beings with simple needs. I can feel their aliveness.

Animals have their personalities, but they're far less developed than ours. Again, their needs are very simple. They're easy to love and they show so much love in return.

We humans are a little more complicated because we believe our thoughts about ourselves, others, and the rest of the world. We tend to focus on our differences more than what we have in common.

We create an identity around being "right" about something and then expect others to match it. If they don't they're wrong.

The right way to raise kids, the right football team to support, the right career path, the right kind of music to listen to, the right way your partner should treat you, the right way to run a country.

Those ideas don't match and conflict ensues.

It's always such a shock when I realize that when there is conflict in my life, it's me. I'm creating it by forcing my idea upon the other. I cannot accept them for who they are. In order for things to be good, they need to be the way I want them to be. Either way, I'm right.

I remember living with four other guys in a house while at university. At one point they were ALL being such assholes, even my girlfriend was... in fact pretty much everyone around me was. I couldn't understand why they all had such a problem.

And then it hit me like a tonne of bricks.

As I strode up those stairs to escape the tension, it was more like a gentle whisper caressing my ear, with a rye smile,

It's probably you...

I only need to take an honest look at how my opinions alter over the years to see that whatever I'm so certain about now is going to change before long.

So maybe I'm not right now. About anything.

And that opens up a whole new way of listening.


Whenever you’re ready, here is how I can help you:

I guide solopreneurs to greater freedom, purpose, and profits. If you too want to create these results in your life and business, get in touch with me to book a free coaching session with me.

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