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  • Writer's pictureAlex Planidin

"It's natural to compare"



Good advertising messages have a habit of sticking around. This one must count as "good" because it's a comfortable home in my mind. But how helpful is it?


Comparing flight prices or trying to decide between similar products on Amazon is pretty straightforward and we do it all day long. Pretty helpful.


But what about when it determines my self-worth?


Without even noticing it, we often compare ourselves - our salary, house, city, country, car, lawn, friends, spouse, ex-spouse, and even our children to what others seem to have.


Or maybe I'm comparing my own current circumstances to past circumstances.


Is that helpful?


How does it feel inside? If you're feeling unhappy then it's not probably very helpful.


I don't know about you, but when I compare myself negatively to someone - and this all happens in a flash so it's hard to catch - I take the stance of "not as good as". That's pretty much the same as "not good enough".


And when I'm wearing "I'm not good enough" glasses, what kind of world do I see?


"That person won't answer my calls because my product/service/company is not good enough"

Or

"I could never live in that part of town",

Or

"I couldn't run my own business"


Maybe the glasses you're wearing are called "not ready yet".


"I am going to start my own business, I'm just not ready yet."

"I'm going to launch my new product line but it's not ready yet"

"I'm going to write a book when I've got everything ready"

"I'm going to ask for a promotion when I feel ready"


How long have you been wearing those glasses?


In this state of mind, are you inspired to take bold action?

Are you even taking any action to move your project forward?


So comparing against others or myself drains a lot of my energy.


And although the comparing "down" lenses paint a rosier picture...

Such as

"At least I don't live there"

"At least I don't work there"

"At least I don't drive that crappy car"

"At least I'm not married to him/her!"


... isn't this just the other side of the same coin?

Pretty soon, I'll get the other side again.


So when I am lucky enough to catch myself playing the comparison game, maybe I can smile at my good fortune.

For this moment I am free of it.


And the truth is that we are always free of it. It just depends on what we give our attention to.


I am who I am right now, right here, with what I have. And it's pretty awesome.


If you're reading this you are already blessed beyond measure. You have eyes that can see, a brain that can process words, and is curious about what it means to be human. You're learning, you're exploring. You're absolutely amazing. We all are. All of life is.


If you're caught up comparing, or just not feeling great about stuff generally, send me a DM and I'll share a really helpful graphic for noticing your emotions. And when you notice more, and pay more attention to the noticing, you relax into the freedom that you really are.


And you see you have the power to create an amazing day.

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