Over the holiday I read "Trust" by Hernan Diaz. It's a great read.
What jumped out at me most was this statement I've highlighted, spoken by one of the main characters in the novel.
Always being right and bending reality accordingly.
Is there any better description of the role of Ego?
For example, when I'm in heavy traffic, what the hell are all those cars doing in my way?
And why are they doing roadworks right here, right now when I have somewhere to be?
I can't possibly be wrong for choosing this route or choosing to leave home at that time –
everything and everyone must fit into my idea of reality. I'm right, they're wrong.
It follows me at every turn.
For example, for some people, myself included, ego may build an identity around spiritual experiences and use this to feel superior. I may say my purpose in life is to live lovingly, to foster peace and help others prosper — but if I'm honest I want it to be on MY terms. Not too difficult, no major sacrifices or discomforts, such as being questioned or risking public exposure.
So perhaps we're always creating or "bending" reality to fit our current perspective.
And if that's true, we can always ask:
"Is the way I'm creating this in line with who I really want to be?" (And who do I want to be?)
When I shout at other drivers, argue with my partner about the laundry, make a dismissive remark about someone or put myself down for not making enough progress...
Maybe I can ask "Am I really right about this? Is it actually true? Is this what I really want to create?"
It's a powerful question, and not one the ego likes to ask.
Right now, where do you see how you're bending reality? Where is it helping or not helping you?
It occurs to me that whatever experience I have that temporarily transcends ego, it will always almost instantly claim it as "mine" and therefore a tool for comparing against my former self or others.
That's OK, it's what the ego does. It's sneaky, but it's becoming more predictable. I'm learning to taste its sticky grasp.
Who's the one learning? Maybe a part of me has always known, and is always free.
I LOVE questioning all this.
If you'd like to explore how greater awareness can help you perform better, feel happier and contribute more, send me a message and we can set up a call.
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