Don't be so afraid to ask!
Like many people, I always knew what made me feel joyful and more alive – music, tennis, socialising, spiritual revelations – but where’s the money in that?/
I'd tell myself others were more talented than me, and that I should do something sensible.
And honestly, whenever I would ask what I really wanted, it would take me there – to a feeling of connection, relaxation, excitement and fun.
I couldn’t immediately see any accessible careers that offered that.
So I'd just say. “I don’t know what I want.”
I didn’t know where to look and I was afraid of what I might find if I did ask.
So I did what other people wanted. Much easier!
Eventually I started accepting that the things I love to do – write and have deep explorative, expansive conversations with people - that it's OK to love them!
And when I give myself permission to follow this thing that honestly gives me a sense of bliss, life throws everything at me. Like the floodgates open.
And I started meeting other people who feel exactly the same as me. I’m not alone and others have struggled with exactly the same thing.
And then I get to have phone calls with people like Daniel Harner PhD
And for an hour afterwards I write things like this:
-- What a gift, what a blessing to spend 1 hour talking with Daniel Harner.
We're immediate brothers.
This fine vibration that I tap into and am invited to participate in
This quiet that I recognise as my home
This reminder that it's OK to be who I am
That trying to be anything else is futile and utterly exhausting
That being my own unique combination of Spirit and this human form, is what I'm called to be
That being MORE uniquely me, by going in and discovering what that means, who that is, and gently letting go of EVERYTHING ELSE that's been learned, imposed, tagged on
That trusting this infinite supply/source of growth, development, learning, discovery; this increasingly sensitive taste for the truth which only I can know.
This one unique expression of life can only come through me and be known by me, as a loving being
I allow this conditioned self to be held in the Infinite Oneness, God's arms, as I'm led gently towards the inner truth
There is no judgment, nothing in the busy mind is rejected, no past pain stored in the body is sent away.
Here, all this is held in gentle love, as I'm forgiven, the path within begins to open up, unfold, perfectly and beautifully
I'm drawn to safe external environments in which pure expression, no matter how "unrefined" or "clumsy", has a chance to be received, where the unconditional love transmitted can be received.
This inner work can find expression "What I receive through contemplation I give out in love"
It's OK to be me
No one is better or worse, superior or inferior
My own unique expression is what it is, and the more I trust this inner source to reveal my own unique nature, the more beautiful the unfolding
Because what's inside all of us is pure unconditional love! Of course the more we go within, the more love we will release! The more love I discover within me, the more will naturally be shared!
The more honest I am in my search, the more sensitive I become, and the more deeply and effortlessly I connect with the essence of the other – ultimately of course, their Being is my Being.
And so the more I CLAIM this power to discern innate truth (Oneness), always inside, from learned falsehood (separation), always outside,
the more I gently, calmly, KNOW who I am; the more I can test external circumstances against this inner truth,
I can trust this true identity, my Oneness with God, the Source of all Life, that is always providing everything for me at all times.
It is all given. I'm handed this gift of Awareness. I'm handed this power to create and I cannot not create.
I AM the Creative Power at work.
I simply have to ask my REAL SELF what I want to create, again and again, REMAIN IN THE "GREAT UNKNOWN", for that is where the only truth lies.
And it's never finished, and it's never complete, and I may never be able to put a word on it,
But this FEELING IS THE SECRET!!
I understand it differently now.
The feeling, the sensitivity to what feels truer, closer to God, can and will always guide me. This feeling is NOW ALL I TRUST. Nothing external, nor even in my own mind, comes close to this level of sensitivity.
This is my union, my conversation, my communion with God in everything, God in others, Source in all things.
THIS IS WHAT I SERVE
THIS IS WHAT I'M COMMITTED TO
THIS IS WHERE MY ATTENTION GOES, WHERE IT'S MOST NOURISHED, MOST TREASURED, MOST REWARDED, MOST DEVELOPED
Feeling is the secret
There are no words that can match this sensitivity to the fineness of vibration.
I'm gifted with this extraordinarily sensitive instrument, inner sensing, asking,
ASKING!! THIS IS TRUE ASKING!!
What is true, who am I really?
I wish to Belong
I wish to Serve
I wish to Share the Blessings I receive, let them through me
Love my fellow beings wholly, humbly, unconditionally.
We're all deserving of this unlimited, universal, VAST loving light.
It is who we are. It is all we are made of.
Only a thought can persuade us otherwise, only if create it as true.
And its grip is easily released when I sense how much closer to God I am when I trust this feeling.
Feeling is the secret.
In everything I do.
I trust this feeling to reveal the truth, guide me to the greater unfolding of this inner wisdom, this blossoming love. It opens, it releases tensions, learned separations, illusory "shoulds".
All those constructs come crashing down
the instant I accept who I am
the only Being I am
Truth, Beauty, Love, Oneness,
expressed in this unique form
way beyond like/dislike
this place before personal taste, hardened individual and group "identities"
this place where all that matters is this developing trust in God who I can only ever find within
I claim my power to hold this sword
My unique power
To wield God's unconditional, unceasing power
And direct it with my Being,
Feeling is the secret that guides me to this power
Feeling charges my infinite energy
Feeling guides my mind as I remain open to the infinite opportunities and abundance presented to me. Always.
There is Unity inside and this is who I AM. And when this is who I AM inside, what I want is CLEAR, and my DOING flows naturally and peacefully and unhurriedly and lovingly.
I trust this FEELING. This search.
FEELING is the Secret!